Absurd Distractions
by paynesgrey
Summary: Out of boredom, Kagome rudely begins to meddle in Sesshoumaru's personal life. Friendship Fic. Canon, Post-Series. Ongoing serialization.
1. Premeditated

AN: This is a new serialization that will be based on prompts at Livejournal communities. This story centers on the budding friendship between Kagome and Sesshoumaru, whether Sesshoumaru likes it or not. **THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE. **Sometimes the Inuyasha/Kagome pairing will be referenced but not the focus.

Some chapters will have shorter word counts than others. This is due to word count limits at these various communities, which is part of the challenge.

Enjoy! Updates will be sporadic.

Prompt: Lunch, Word Count: 200, from dokuga_contest.

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Absurd Distractions

Part One: Premeditated

"Sesshoumaru-sama has been coming to the village a lot," Kagome mused.

Inuyasha snorted. "He brings that kid dresses and checks on her."

"How many dresses does Rin-chan need?" Kagome was still staring at Rin and Sesshoumaru, intrigued at their interaction. She couldn't look away; perhaps she was bored.

"Why do you care?" he asked annoyed, but Kagome ignored him.

"Maybe we should invite him over, you know, to our home for a meal," Kagome asked, and Inuyasha's eyes widened.

"Are you crazy?"

"Well, he seems lonely," she mused sadly.

"Just leave him be." This was Inuyasha's final word, but Kagome didn't let up.

"I wonder if he needs to find someone, you know, a companion?" she asked wistfully.

"Oh, no you don't, woman!" He pointed a finger at her, but Kagome was too stubborn and not interested in his scolding. She grinned with an evil new plan. She snapped her fingers.

"That's it! I'll invite him for lunch!" she said, looking for encouragement. Inuyasha looked withered.

"You're asking for trouble," he said gloomily.

"Oh, be quiet. We could use some excitement in this village once in awhile!" Kagome said, and she took off in a sprint toward the unaware youkai.


	2. On One Condition

AN: Written for the "LOL" prompt at I B 4 Y on Livejournal. 984 words.

Absurd Distractions

Chapter Two: On One Condition

With a keen eye he watched Kagome run after his uptight brother with a newfound fervor. If there was something he was certain of, it was that whenever Kagome set her mind on something, nothing would change it and nothing would stand in her way of accomplishment.

Albeit her latest idea was ridiculous, and maybe if his attitude had been different when she announced it, she might have forgotten about it; however, Inuyasha knew the moment he showed any retaliation or discomfort, Kagome would go through with her idea just to spite him.

Modern girls who got bored in his time were dangerous things, he was realizing.

"Oi, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she called to him sweetly. Inuyasha noticed she had not called him by her recent term of endearment, "Onii-san", which seemed to send his temper ablaze every time she addressed him, and it made Inuyasha extremely uncomfortable to be so closely associated with someone who once wanted to beat the living tar out of him (and he probably still did, Inuyasha thought).

As usual, his brother ignored Kagome with obvious indifference as she ran toward him; however, like anything else - acid whip or even a glare, nothing would deter her from inviting his brother over to dinner. The end result was much worse, and Sesshoumaru didn't even know the terror that was lurking inside Kagome's brain.

If he knew she wanted to play matchmaker with him and become his best friend, well, he might not tolerate Kagome as well as he did now. (Inuyasha wasn't keen on the idea of fighting his brother because he got angry with one of Kagome's crazy whims).

Amazingly enough, when his thoughts cleared away, Inuyasha saw Kagome glide in front of Sesshoumaru before he took off to the skies. He looked down at her curiously, and Inuyasha was impressed enough that she had actually obtained his often-elusive attention.

"Hi! How are you?" When he heard her loud, nervous laughter, Inuyasha took one step, getting ready for when things went bad. His ears cocked as he tried to listen from this distance, and as Kagome babbled away, they began walking together out of the range of his hearing and taking a turn about the edge of the forest.

"What the?" he said aloud, but he didn't want to anger Kagome and intervene when there was no dire reason, and it wasn't like he didn't trust her in the presence of another man.

Another man, who just happened to be his unpredictable, vicious brother.

"That's great! Then it's settled!" He heard her say as she turned around and they started walking back. Inuyasha's brow knitted together suspiciously as they walked side-by-side toward his position.

How the heck did she manage to convince him to even notice her, let alone agree to have dinner with them that night?

Kagome beamed happily as they approached him. Sesshoumaru, who was silent and stony as ever, was oddly congenial as Kagome rattled off how happy she was to have his brother for dinner that night. It still didn't explain how she managed to pull off this seemingly impossible request.

"No offense, Kagome, but how in the hell did you convince him to eat with us?" Inuyasha sneered, and he turned to his brother. "And you..." He pointed accusingly. "What do you get in all of this? What are you scheming?"

His brother said nothing; he didn't even flinch, but Inuyasha's rudeness definitely stirred Kagome's ire. She put her fists on her hips and hollered at him. "Honestly, behave yourself, Inuyasha. You need to be a better host to our guest."

Inuyasha guessed his brother was feeling rather smug inside, but he still couldn't quite tell.

"What? Host? This guy tried to kill us on many occasions! What the hell is wrong with you, woman? Are you out of your mind?" Inuyasha continued to glare at Sesshoumaru, trying to figure out what his interest was with Kagome, and why, out of the blue, he was suddenly in agreement to play house with her.

"Now, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru-sama has assured me that he would like to dine with us, but there are some conditions. It seems he has a special diet," Kagome explained. His brother's cold eyes seemed to bore into him like miko's arrows.

"Yeah, yeah, I know; he's too good for human food," Inuyasha said condescendingly. "That's why I can't understand what the hell he intends to do."

"Now if you just settle down and listen, I'll explain," Kagome said huffing with impatience. She shot his brother the sweetest smile, one that Inuyasha did not like at all, and he hoped she never looked at his brother like that again. "Sesshoumaru says he will have dinner if you could hunt the food for him. I mean, after all, he tells me you being an inu-youkai, well at least half, you should know how to hunt for food that's appropriate for his diet."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed, and he was seething inside. He figured out his brother's plan now, and not only was he mildly insulted by this game of servitude, but also his brother knew very well beyond Kagome's understanding that any meat on the hunt would be eaten raw as a show of skill and power. It was a well-known ritual of his kind, and Inuyasha, because of his birth, was never allowed to participate in it. Sesshoumaru knew that well enough, and he was only offering Inuyasha the chance by way of mockery and at the expense of Kagome's ignorance.

Inuyasha growled and glowered at his brother. He searched his brother's face for any indication of smarmy satisfaction toward the whole proposal. Of course it wasn't visibly there, but it was obvious the moment Inuyasha met his brother's eyes.

If were possible for his golden eyes to laugh, Inuyasha knew that his brother was loudly amused at his expense right now.


	3. Bonding Exhaustion

AN: Written for the "grow" prompt for dokuga_contest on Livejournal. Word Count Limit: 300.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Three: Bonding Exhaustion

Kagome hummed as she prepared dinner that late afternoon, and knowing Sesshoumaru wouldn't eat anything she made, she set out the tea anyway in hope that he'd relent to her charms.

Kagome's smile brightened when she thought of the unexpected bonding of the two brothers, and she couldn't help but dream that their relationship would grow so she could get closer to Sesshoumaru as well. She didn't know why, but she felt compelled to know more about him. After all, he had helped them in battle, and despite his usual aloof nature, Kagome was certain there was a lonely person inside just waiting to get out.

She heard the boys return from their ritual hunt, and after hurrying to put the finishing touches on her tea presentation, she skipped out of the house to greet them.

Her smile disappeared when she caught sight of them. Then, a rancid scent hit her nostrils, and she staggered to keep her footing. Inuyasha and his brother were covered in youkai blood, and Inuyasha looked unusually listless. Sesshoumaru, of course, looked the same as ever, placidly unaffected.

"What happened? I thought you were just going to hunt!" She marched up to them and looked at Inuyasha alarmed.

"We hunted," Sesshoumaru merely said, and when Inuyasha's glassy-eyed expression did not meet hers, she looked to his brother worriedly.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Sesshoumaru turned to his brother, and as he glanced at him, Inuyasha tumbled onto the ground. Kagome squeaked in horror until she heard Inuyasha emit a contented snore.

"My brother is still well, but he will need to sleep off the youki he consumed," Sesshoumaru answered, and Kagome swore she could detect rare amusement in his voice.

"Well, then," she stammered and nervously smiled at him. "Would you like some tea?"


	4. Dissed

AN: Written for the "crisp" challenge on dokuga_contest at Livejournal. Word Count limit: 100.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Four: Dissed

With an intrigued stare, Sesshoumaru wordlessly declined her offer for tea as he turned to the skies. Inuyasha snored soundly at their feet, but Kagome was too miffed by Sesshoumaru's crisp rejection to worry about him now.

_He'll be back_, she thought resolutely, and as he departed, she waved her arms and bid him farewell with a boisterous screech.

"Until next time," she called, pausing a beat before saying, "_Onii-san_!"

The visible tremble in his shoulders was more than evident of her triumph. Undoubtedly, she'd gotten the last word here, and she wasn't giving up on him any time soon.


	5. The Planning Process

AN: Written for the "flail" prompt at dokuga_contest. Word Count limit: 200.

Absurd Distractions

Chapter Five: The Planning Process

Kagome was quite positive that Sesshoumaru was avoiding her.

He hadn't come back to the village in weeks, and while Kagome was content to continue her duties with Kaede, it did not deter her from wanting to become his friend.

She racked her brain trying to figure out a way to lure him in again and appeal to his finer tastes, and though she hated for Sesshoumaru to notice her at Inuyasha's expense, she wouldn't rule out that option. Still, the perfect catalyst to attract the cold brother's attention still eluded her.

Thoughts of a winning plan consumed her, so much that it had caused somewhat of a failing in awkward, amorous times with Inuyasha, and though a headache was a good excuse, she couldn't use it all the time.

She thought, perhaps, Sesshoumaru might be enticed by a shiny object of some sort if he could not be attracted through food. Kagome chuckled to herself; of course, Sesshoumaru wasn't like the border collie she once had. She'd have to use some kind of finesse.

When the idea finally struck her, she flailed wildly out of Inuyasha's intimate embrace.

"I've got it!" she exclaimed, leaving Inuyasha, unfortunately, bewildered and annoyed.


	6. First Signs of Madness

AN: Written for the "slow and steady" prompt at iyfic_contest. Word count limit: 250. (Still not a serious story.)

Absurd Distractions

Chapter Six: First Signs of Madness

Kagome was sure her plan was foolproof, but she would take things slow and steady. She holed herself up in the miko shrine by the village, creating the perfect gift to entice Sesshoumaru to become her friend.

She was sure that he would not refuse such a gift as this, and more than likely he did not possess anything like it. Kagome was so confident Sesshoumaru would be so taken by her "gift" that he may even make some gesture of apology for avoiding her this long. It was silly; she knew this, but she was certain she could tell _things_ from his eyes, even through his stony expressions.

Inuyasha called her delusional, but what did he know? Kagome was sure he was jealous. It was obvious even now that Sesshoumaru preferred her over his own brother (one he didn't claim anyway).

She couldn't wait to see Sesshoumaru's face, and even the shift in his emotions when he regarded her.

Kagome started chuckling to herself, in low and self-satisfied guffaws that frightened away the miko trainees. Kaede stayed away as well, bluntly expressing that she hoped Kagome's obsession with Sesshoumaru ended soon.

Inuyasha was the only brave soul to interrupt Kagome during her new project. He poked his head into the shrine and said, "Kagome?"

She snapped her head around, and in the darkness, he only saw two bright pink slits for eyes as her holy aura began to rise.

Promptly, and smartly, he got the hell out of there.


	7. The Gift

AN: Written for the "blink" prompt at dokuga_contest at Livejournal. Word count limit: 100.

Absurd Distractions

Chapter Seven: The Gift

Kagome could barely blink she was so exhausted. She'd been working tirelessly for two days on Sesshoumaru's gift.

Kagome was still confident he would not refuse her. He might be his usual frigid self about accepting her gift, but she would insist regardless.

Holding up the fine silver sash, she rolled onto her back and put it under to the sunlight coming through the shrine. It shimmered with her power, and she concentrated specifically that it would not affect Sesshoumaru; however, her holy power would ultimately send other enemy youkai into crippling heaps.

Kagome just hoped that it actually worked.


	8. More than Successful

AN: Written for the "rumor has it" one-shot theme on iyfic_contest at Livejournal.

Absurd Distractions

Chapter Eight: More than Successful

Inuyasha peered at the shimmering pink sash intently. "What does it do?"

"You could say it's a shield against other youkai," Kagome told him proudly. She'd come home exhausted from working on Sesshoumaru's gift in the shrine, falling into Inuyasha's opening arms half asleep. She'd had the sash on her, and he took it and folded it next to her while she got some much needed rest.

"But it doesn't affect me?" Inuyasha asked cautiously, and Kagome shook her head and smiled at him.

"That's right. I concentrated my power that it wouldn't hurt anyone in your bloodline," she said with a grin. "So that means it's the _perfect_ gift."

"What about Kirara?" Inuyasha asked, and Kagome smiled.

"Don't worry, Inuyasha. It won't hurt her either," she said, taking the sash from his grip and looking at it proudly. She couldn't wait to give it to him!

"You've never made anything like this for me," he said with a pout, and his words caught her off guard. She didn't realize how upset he'd been until she saw the expression on his face.

"Oh, Inuyasha..." she said, feeling the need to apologize. "I guess I've been a little obsessed lately. I felt so insulted by his rejection that I couldn't think about anything else but trying to please him."

He snorted. "When will you learn that's how he is? He'll never be like your brother back home, okay?" Kagome looked at her hands, and she wound the sash tightly over her wrists. "Oh, so that's it, isn't it? You miss Souta, and you think Sesshoumaru will be your substitute?"

"Well, and I'm bored, and I thought it'd be fun, you know, to crack that hardened exterior of his," she said with a smirk.

"Trust me, I tried that a long time ago, and it wasn't pretty," Inuyasha said. "Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but don't lose it, okay? You have friends and family _here_, and Sesshoumaru is an odd one. I don't even know why he comes for that little girl all the time."

"Ah," Kagome said, pointing at him with a grin. "That only means there's hope for him."

Inuyasha sighed. "Fine, whatever, but promise me something?" Kagome met his eyes. "If he rejects your gift, will you give it a rest?"

Kagome inhaled a heavy breath and considered his words. "I suppose there would be no point after that." She furrowed her brow. "It would be the rudest injustice to deny my hard work; plus, this sash is one of a kind. Think of how powerful he could be with it? He could rule his lands and even gain more."

"Well, you try telling that to him," he said, rubbing his chin. He laughed a little, and Kagome didn't expect to see his temper so subdued after all she'd done. "I admit, I'm curious to see what the bastard does too."

"And…if he refuses it, I'll just give it to you," she said confidently.

"Forget it. I don't want that thing," he said with an offended grunt. "You forget I have Tessaiga. I don't need it. Sesshoumaru probably needs it more than I do anyway," he added with a cackle.

"Fine," she said, rising from her spot in their house. She looked down at him as he began to rise from the floor as well. "Come to Kaede's with me? I want to ask Rin to relay my message to Sesshoumaru."

Inuyasha nodded, and Kagome watched him pause, and his ears twitched and he gave the air a sniff. "No need. He's here."

Before he turned toward her, Kagome had already bolted out their door in a flash. Inuyasha sighed heavily, wondering if she would become victim to her overbearing excitement again. He hoped she didn't, and he followed her path out to the group greeting Sesshoumaru. The dragon was with him, and he was looking down at Rin; however, this visit seemed to be different than usual. He had come to Rin empty handed when he normally had a new kimono or two prepared for her.

Inuyasha was astounded at his next move, and when he turned to a jubilant Kagome, he couldn't believe it. His brother addressed her.

"This Sesshoumaru has heard a rumor that you have made him a gift," he said bluntly, and Inuyasha felt his temper rising. It was almost as if he expected it!

Kagome was indeed surprised. "How did you know?" Both Inuyasha and Kagome turned to Rin, who looked sheepishly at her toes.

"Rin is sorry, Kagome-chan. Rin told Sesshoumaru-sama you were working so hard on a gift for him. I was too excited and called for him," she said, and she looked as though she was prepared to get beaten.

"Ah, that saves me the trouble!" Kagome said happily as Rin relaxed with relief, and she turned to his brother with a huge, beaming grin. "I have it finished!" She held up the sash as it glittered in the sunlight. Sesshoumaru took it cautiously and carefully to not rip it with his claws. "Miko-enhanced, lifetime warranty," she added with a wink.

He seemed unaffected by her good spirits, yet he inspected the sash closely and wordlessly, more than intrigued. His eyes flashed at Kagome suspiciously. "What do you intend by this, miko? What do you hope to gain from bribing this Sesshoumaru with such a gift?"

"Bribe! Are you serious?" she asked offended, and Inuyasha felt Kagome's rising anger. Quickly, he moved to join her side, making sure she did not lose it with his brother - and thus violence would ensue and he'd have to swoop in and save her.

"There is no other reason you would gain this Sesshoumaru's attention. It is evident that you wish to acquire something from me, so name your price and bother me no further," he said roughly.

Inuyasha thought Kagome was really something at this point. Not only was she not scared, but she was also amused by his audacity and misinterpretation. She released a loud guffaw, and she met him defiantly with her fists on her hips.

"I'm not trying to _bribe_ you, Sesshoumaru! I'm trying to be your friend, _your family_. Is that really so hard to understand?" she answered him, and his brother looked incredulous like he'd never heard of something so ridiculous before.

Inuyasha tensed when he saw his brother lean closely to Kagome's face and inspect her curiously. In a low voice he asked, "Are you well, miko?"

Kagome blinked, and when she couldn't stand his piercing stare any longer, she released a fit of giggles. She bent over clutching her stomach and couldn't stop. Sesshoumaru watched her even more bewildered, but he was becoming annoyed. When she regained her composure, she wiped the tears from her eyes and answered, "Yes, I'm fine, silly!" Inuyasha's jaw dropped at her address, but Sesshoumaru took no offense to it (luckily). "Now do you want the sash or not? Can you at least use it?"

Sesshoumaru looked down at the sash. "Explain its merits. I feel holy power coming from it, but it does not affect me."

"As it shouldn't, nor will it affect your brother or any weaker youkai; however, strong youkai such as yourself cannot come within five feet of you before being blasted with holy power that could incapacitate them for several seconds, enough time for you to strike."

"A useful weapon," Sesshoumaru said admirably, leaving Inuyasha even more gob-smacked by his behavior. His brother turned to Kagome in disbelief. "One wonders how you could achieve such power," he added, raising a single eyebrow.

Kagome smirked and crossed her arms proudly. "Well, I've picked up some skills since we've defeated Naraku."

Inuyasha couldn't believe it. His brother was actually accepting the gift, and if he didn't know any better, he'd say Sesshoumaru was impressed with Kagome as well.

"This Sesshoumaru will not accept this without barter or a price," he said, addressing Kagome seriously, and she became a little miffed by his attitude.

"I don't want anything but your friendship, Sesshoumaru," she said resolutely.

"It is immaterial," Sesshoumaru said, exasperated. Though he made no gesture to return the sash, he wouldn't take Kagome's friendship for it. "I will return a favor to you some day. You have my word." He bowed briskly to her, and Inuyasha supposed this was all Sesshoumaru could do at the moment. Kagome turned to him with surprise, but he could see the fires of victory shining in her eyes.

Damn. It seemed as though her mission to befriend Sesshoumaru wasn't over yet. He sighed inwardly and merely glared at his brother, who paid him no mind, still fascinated by Kagome's empowered sash.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken came running toward them, and Inuyasha forgot that the little imp youkai was around here somewhere, probably coerced away by Kaede's food. Sesshoumaru shot his servant a bored look as Jaken hurriedly came upon them, and Kagome watched in wonder as the sash in Sesshoumaru's hands began to glow.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, holding up her hands to ward Jaken off; however, it was too late.

The sash activated with a burst of holy energy, flinging Jaken and the staff of heads backward into a prickly brush. Rin ran over to him alarmed, but Sesshoumaru was more intrigued by the display of the sash's potential. He regarded Kagome attentively.

"It appears your sash works adequately," he said, still intrigued.

"But...it's not supposed to hurt smaller youkai!" Kagome fretted. She turned to a moaning Jaken in the bush as Rin tended to him. "I'm so sorry, Jaken!"

"Jaken has the Staff of Heads, so his power is not what it appears," Sesshoumaru explained. "However, I doubt the results would be the same if he did not have the staff," he added.

"Poor little guy," Kagome remarked sympathetically, and it was obvious she hated that Sesshoumaru accepted the gift at Jaken's expense.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, was just glad _he_ was not at the receiving end of that gift. Though, he had a feeling he would not be so lucky in the future if this strange friendship between Kagome and his brother continued.


	9. Gift Return

AN: Written for the "knock" theme at iyfic_contest on Livejournal. Word Count Limit: 250.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Nine: Gift Return

"Sesshoumaru-sama, you cannot use Kagome-chan's gift!"

Awestruck, the group turned toward Rin, who was still fretting over an injured Jaken. Kagome was too elated by her victory in claiming Sesshoumaru's attention with her sash that she almost overlooked the anxious state of his ward. She noticed the tears in Rin's eyes and frowned, feeling horrible.

"Rin, this sash is a useful weapon. Do not concern yourself," he said, and Kagome didn't expect Sesshoumaru to be so enamored with her gift that he would refuse Rin's request.

Rin gently released Jaken, who had finally woken up, albeit somewhat shaken. She ran over to Sesshoumaru and grabbed the sash out of his hand. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed at her defiance.

"Jaken-sama is_ hurt_," Rin cried, and she turned from Sesshoumaru's intrigued eyes toward Kagome. "Please, Kagome-chan, can you fix it so Jaken-sama cannot get injured?"

"Rin!" Sesshouamru chastised, but Kagome waved him off.

"No, it's fine, and Rin-chan's right," she said, bowing to Rin and taking the sash delicately from her grasp. "I can do it," she said resolutely. "Jaken wasn't meant to be knocked out from it anyway."

Sesshoumaru looked back and forth at Rin and Kagome, nodding tersely. "Very well, I will return again." He turned around to depart, and Kagome sensed Rin's relief beside her as he flew into the sky.

The young girl smiled gratefully at her, and Kagome knew that if she were going to gain Sesshoumaru's elusive friendship, she'd have to befriend Rin and Jaken as well.


	10. Back Again

AN: Written for the "murky" challenge for dokuga_contest on Livejournal. Word Count Limit: 100. Thank you to whoever nominated me for the Dokuga Awards! I'm honored.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Ten: Back Again

As expected, Sesshoumaru returned to the village. Surprisingly, he really did want her gift, or at least, he showed more interest in her trinket than her "help" in the battle with Naraku.

Flying out of the murky sky, Sesshoumaru landed in front of the shrine as she was leaving. Kagome wiped the sweat off her brow and beamed. She saw Jaken hiding angrily behind his Lord's fluffy pelt.

He gave her his usual impatient look, and she stifled a rude laugh. She handed him the empowered sash again.

"It's ready!" She glanced nervously at both Jaken and Sesshoumaru. "I think."


	11. Rapid Proof

AN: Written for the "thoughtless" theme at iyfic_contest on Livejournal. Word Count Limit: 250.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Eleven: Rapid Proof

As expected, Jaken cowered behind Sesshoumaru and would not budge, and apparently he intended to kill her with his stare as well. Kagome sighed. She'd really worked tirelessly to make sure the sash didn't bring any harm to him, and as much as she hated thinking about the imp or visualizing him to enact her power, she did it, for both Rin and Sesshoumaru's sakes.

"Jaken, please; I promise it's okay now," Kagome reassured, and she noticed that Sesshoumaru was getting irritated at waiting for Jaken to test drive his newly revised gift.

Kagome knew that Sesshoumaru would be thoughtless enough to kick Jaken off his leg and onto the sash just to hurry things along, but she moved quickly to prevent such an occurrence (to not upset Rin again), so she bounced ahead, grabbed the screeching youkai and snuggled him in the sash despite his weak retaliation. The Staff of Heads even seemed impatient, as it fell inert in defending him.

He froze in terror, soon realizing that her sash didn't send him flying this time; though, still unsure, Jaken cautiously started peeling off the garment regardless. Kagome beamed her brightest smile at Sesshoumaru, who appeared mostly content (for him anyway).

"Good, this gift is now acceptable. This Sesshoumaru will soon return the favor," he said, scrutinizing her intently. "Provided the terms are within reason."

Kagome's face felt hot as her mind buzzed at the meaning behind his words. Just what did he think she wanted really from him?


	12. Stipulation

AN: Written for the "treat" prompt at dokuga_contest on Livejournal. Word Count LIMIT: 400.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Twelve: Stipulation

Kagome felt a little nervous in imagining what Sesshoumaru's repayment would be. The fact that she'd wish for anything at all other than his friendship did not cross her mind, and knowing that Sesshoumaru was just the sort of youkai who hated owing anyone anything was a quick dose of reality.

He obviously meant to tie up this debt right away, and Kagome watched numbly as he tied the sash around his sword's sheath and met her eyes. He seemed to have a plan for her even before he arrived to the village, and she supposed it was a boost to her confidence that he had expected her gift to work once she fixed it to not harm Jaken.

"Miko," he said, snapping her out of her daze. She furrowed her brow.

"It's Kagome," she said, a little too breathlessly as she met his stare.

"I will repay your debt, but in order to do so, you must accompany this Sesshoumaru to the Northern Lands," he said.

Kagome felt even more confused. What sort of treat was she in for? "What? Why?" she asked, and she hadn't intended on leaving the village, and she suspected that Inuyasha would be angry with her for even considering it; however, she supposed she couldn't refuse.

This was Sesshoumaru after all.

"I need your assistance yet again, but when we are done, I give you my word that your time and your gift will be repaid in full," Sesshoumaru said.

Kagome shook her head. "I still don't understand."

Sesshoumaru looked perturbed that he had to explain anything further, but Kagome stood her ground. She wasn't going anywhere with him unless he told her more about it.

"A former ally has taken something of mine, an inheritance of my mother's. In her own amusement, she gave it to him, knowing I would not approve. You are aware of the Meidou Seki? It was a later price I would pay for having her revive Rin."

"What did your mother gave away?"

"Ah-Un's mate, another two headed dragon. The beast is rightfully mine, and when we get it back, you may have its egg as your payment."

Kagome's eyes widened. "Let me get this straight; you're giving me a live dragon egg in return for the sash?"

Kagome swore she saw a tiny smirk lift his lips. "Of course, but we must rescue the mother first."


	13. The Journey Begins

AN: Written for the "missing out" one-shot prompt at iyfic_contest on livejournal.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Thirteen: The Journey Begins

"HELL NO, Kagome!" Inuyasha said, and Kagome challenged his angry stare with her own, not backing down. "You're not going with him, not if I have anything to say anything about it!"

"Well, you don't, Inuyasha!" she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

"The hell I don't! We're mates now and you listen to me! You are not going on some adventure with my asshole brother!" Inuyasha demanded, even though Sesshoumaru was right there, listening to every insult. Kagome still wouldn't budge.

"And you don't own me! Don't think because you're from this era that you can act like I'm your property! I'm going, and you don't have to worry," she said, her angry brow still knitted together.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm not missing out on anything he's roped you into. I'm coming with for your protection," Inuyasha said, puffing up his chest. Finally, Sesshoumaru decided to intervene.

"My brother is not invited on this mission, miko. Only you and no one else," he stated firmly, only talking to her and ignoring Inuyasha's presence. Inuyasha turned to his brother like he was going to pummel him. Kagome put a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder, knowing it wouldn't deter him, but at least, showing that she wanted him to settle down.

"Why you bastard!" he raged at him. "What gives you the right to take my Kagome away with you?" He eyed him suspiciously. "What's your scheme anyway?"

Sesshoumaru huffed at him. "Do not worry, cur; it is nothing that you imply. I have no interest in the miko other than her skills and the debt I owe her."

"Her skills?"

"I need a moderately useful miko to accompany me to rescue the dragon. I could pick any miko in any of these surrounding villages, but since I owe Kagome a debt, I chose her." He paused, and Kagome noticed that his stoic expression transformed into annoyance. His tone rang like a chill through Kagome's bones. "I do not like owing humans debts."

Inuyasha was still angry; he swore every word that would sully a person's ears. Finally, he turned to Kagome and tried to convince her to change her mind again, this time with genuine regard.

"Kagome, please, don't do this," Inuyasha said.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I already made a promise to Sesshoumaru, and well, he owes me," she said.

"Is this what you want from him? To have him owe you a debt?" Inuyasha asked, almost hurt.

"No, I just wanted his friendship, to get to know him better as family," she said, and she smiled lightly. "I think this adventure with him will give me that, and think of it! I'll get a dragon egg for my troubles!"

Inuyasha sighed, and his shoulders relaxed as she took him into an embrace.

"I wish I could come to protect you," he said, finally relenting to her choice. He still didn't want to give his approval on her leaving the village without him, but maybe after it's done, this madness with Kagome and Sesshoumaru will end.

"Do not worry, brother," Sesshoumaru said, and for once, his tone wasn't mocking. "You have my word that I will keep the miko safe while she is away."

Inuyasha turned to his older brother and glared. "You better, or I'll ram Tessaiga so far up your ass, it'll shred that stick up there to splinters."

Sesshoumaru arched an eyebrow, but he said nothing and motioned the miko to follow him. Kagome turned to Inuyasha, giving him another hug and goodbye kiss.

"I'll be back soon!" she said, waving happily as she padded behind Sesshoumaru. For some odd reason, she felt like she was walking in Rin's footsteps. Sesshoumaru didn't say much to her, and he didn't take off toward the sky. Strangely enough, the beginning of their journey started with them walking silently down the dirt path leaving the village. Heading northbound, Kagome sprinted to catch up with him and walk by his side.

She was most certainly not Rin, and she wouldn't walk behind him like a servant. When the inu youkai did not protest her presence at his side, she smiled, feeling suddenly at ease.

She was surprised a terrible fight didn't break out between the two brothers back there. In the past, Inuyasha's guts would have been poking out of his stomach if she had decided to go with Sesshoumaru; however, back then she wouldn't have been so crazy to be within five feet of Sesshoumaru, let alone become his traveling companion.

Funny how things have changed, she mused silently, enjoying the warm summer wind caressing her face. She turned to her side, admiring the way Sesshoumaru's hair glittered in the sunlight.

He caught her staring at him, and she averted her eyes, feeling the flush rise to her cheeks.

"Um…so, where is this dragon we're going to rescue?" she asked, hoping small talk would save her from Sesshoumaru's dangerous eyes.

"North," he simply replied, and Kagome sighed. As if she didn't already figure that out.

"What sort of youkai has it captive?" she pried, and Sesshoumaru looked perturbed, but he was starting to realize that she wouldn't stay quiet.

"A fire youkai who collects mystical beasts, like dragons," he answered bluntly. Kagome's mouth gaped as he looked at her. She thought she saw a flash of a grin. "And special humans sometimes."

Her eyes widened. She hoped that he wasn't implying what she thought he was. No, would Sesshoumaru really trade her for the dragon? He gave his word he wouldn't put her in danger.

Would he promise those terms more loosely? As long as she was alive, Kagome was sure that Sesshoumaru considered her safe in body and spirit, and not much more of his concern. She felt a drop of anxiety pool in her belly.

Perhaps Inuyasha had been right. Was it really a good idea for her to travel with Sesshoumaru? After all, his ideals and scruples were not at all like his brother's. He was a different personality entirely from Inuyasha, or any other 'good' sort of youkai she'd ever encountered, and calling Sesshoumaru good was definitely a liberal use of the word.

Goosebumps bubbled on the nape of her neck, and Kagome began to tremble. They continued walking, and she no longer felt the weight of Sesshoumaru's stare.

And the less Sesshoumaru said to her or even regarded her, the more Kagome was worried about what he really had planned for her.


	14. Bad Feeling

AN: Written for the "sleeve" theme at iyfic_contest at Livejournal. Word Count Limit: 250.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Fourteen: Bad Feeling

When Miroku found Inuyasha, his face was red with fury and he was inspecting his sword before he slid the enchanted blade back into the scabbard. Cautiously, Miroku approached him, knowing his friend was on his way to take a journey under extreme stress.

"Kagome-sama has left with your brother," Miroku observed bluntly, looking over his friend's shoulder. The matter-of-fact statement seemed to pour salt into the wound, and when Inuyasha met his eyes, his nostrils flared like he was ready to take his anger out on someone other than the person who deserved it. Miroku gave him an easy smile, hoping to calm him.

"I take it you're following them?" Miroku said, and Inuyasha harrumphed as he headed toward their direction. Miroku pulled on his sleeve before he was out of reach, and had one more thing to say.

"I have a ominous feeling about this, Inuyasha," Miroku said, and Inuyasha nodded.

"I know, that's why I'm going," he said.

"No, my friend, you misunderstood me. I believe your brother has a specific plan. I have a bad feeling about _you_ going after them," Miroku said, and Inuyasha turned around to glare at him.

"Quiet, bozu; I don't care about that bastard's plans! I only care about Kagome," he snarled.

Miroku sighed. Despite his intuition, Inuyasha would go after Kagome no matter what the danger, and he didn't trust his brother enough for anything.

Miroku knew that no words were going to convince his friend to stay.


	15. Culmination

AN: Written for the "optimism" challenge at iyfic_contest on Livejournal. The word count limit was 250 words.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Fifteen: Culmination

Kagome wasn't exactly feeling optimistic about traveling with Sesshoumaru anymore. The sun was already setting, and she was getting tired from walking. Unfortunately for her, Sesshoumaru coldly refused her the chance to rest on many occasions.

Her thoughts were frenetic with paranoia and suspicion, and she was on edge since Sesshoumaru mentioned they would be meeting the fire youkai. As usual, Sesshoumaru was cryptic about any information regarding this youkai, and Kagome could only fear the worst on how well he would end up receiving them.

Sesshoumaru stopped abruptly on the dirt path they were walking, out in the open with a cluster of trees on both sides of them. Kagome sighed heavily. "Thank, Kami!" she said breathlessly, but after she stretched her arms and legs, she looked up to see Sesshoumaru tense, sniffing the air and sweeping the area with a cool, calculated gaze.

"Uh oh," Kagome said immediately, but Sesshoumaru glared at her to be silent. Kagome's jaw shut audibly, and she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Her senses flared, but more importantly, she could detect youki coming upon them fast. The youki wasn't as all-encompassing and familiar as Sesshoumaru's. No. This was multiple levels of power circling around them all at once.

Sesshoumaru came at her, grabbing her and putting her behind him. "Kagome," he said, finally using her name. "After this, you must remember to trust me," he spoke with a growl.

Then, before Kagome could respond, they were seized.


	16. Overpowered

AN: Written for the "Never Again" prompt at iyfic_contest on Livejournal. Word count limit: 250.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Sixteen: Overpowered

Stars started to twinkle in the sky as Inuyasha tracked Kagome's scent. He stopped, and his blood went cold when her smell stalled in the air. There was a faint trace of it in the road ahead, just as his brother's, but they were both being overpowered by something else.

He snorted. "Youki combined with dark holy magic," he said to himself, recognizing the evil energy as similar to Tsubaki's work from long ago. Not the same because she was dead, but there was definitely a dark miko at work here, as well as other unfamiliar youkai.

He narrowed his eyes down the thin path. If his brother was teaming up with these youkai to kidnap Kagome, Inuyasha promised to cut off all four of his brother's limbs with Tessaiga the next time he found the bastard, so that he'd never walk again.

Suddenly, Inuyasha sensed it. Something was coming for him at all sides. Could it be the same thing that captured Kagome? Was it one of his brother's nefarious allies? He readied his sword. He grinned confidently, itching for a challenge like this since Naraku's reign.

"Come out, you bastards!" Inuyasha hollered, and he heard echoing laughter within the ominous breeze. Inuyasha's eyes swept the area, waiting for the moment they would show themselves. Then, he'd torture them all until they gave back his Kagome.

Unexpectedly, an impossible power hit him with a crippling force. Inuyasha struggled futilely against it, and his sword promptly fell at his feet.


	17. Captured

AN: Written for the "True Story" prompt at iyfic_contest on Livejournal.

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Absurd Distractions

Chapter Seventeen: Captured

When Kagome finally came to, she felt the stretch of her arm muscles and realized her hands were bound. She groaned from a headache and looked through a crack in the wood beneath her. She was tied up like a prisoner and being transported somewhere in a rickety cart. She assumed her captors to be the fire youkai that Sesshoumaru spoke of, and if he knew this was how the youkai was going to treat him, she might just have to kill him if they got out of this alive.

"Kagome." When she heard her name on his lips, she snapped her head up and glared at him. Her anger slightly disappeared when she realized he was bound too.

"What…what did they do to us?" Her mouth was so dry she could barely speak. Her head was still fuzzy from what happened to them, and right about now she really wanted some answers, and more than anything, some reassurance that Sesshoumaru had a plan for escape. However, while he was bound as well by powerful magic, she was starting to lose faith that Sesshoumaru could do anything to help them.

"The fire youkai is taking us to his castle," Sesshoumaru said simply, and Kagome was amazed that he wasn't even worried, not even while he was tied up.

"Let me guess, you can't get us out of here," Kagome asked with aggravation.

"Quiet, human." An unfamiliar voice startled her, and Kagome realized they weren't alone. She snapped her head around to meet the large impish eyes of their warden. It was almost the same kappa species as Jaken, only he was larger, and well, if it was possible, uglier.

Speaking of Jaken, Kagome was glad Sesshoumaru left him and the two-headed dragon back at the village with Rin. As much as she detested Jaken, she didn't want him to get in some sort of trouble that would hurt him. She was sure Rin would never forgive her, even if wasn't directly her fault. Letting her thoughts fade, she turned to the large imp youkai who was glaring a hole in her.

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him. "No, I will not be quiet! Who the hell are you? And what right do you have bind us like this? We just want an audience with your master, and if this is any way he treats his guests, well…"

"Kagome, be silent," Sesshoumaru said. "We are not guests."

The imp laughed at them. "The dog is correct," he said, earning a glower from Sesshoumaru. "My master knew about you two. He's very delighted to have you; though, you will not be his guests."

Kagome's anger subsided and was replaced with fear. What has Sesshoumaru gotten her into? If he knew that this was how his former ally was going to treat them, why wouldn't he resist? Unless…Maybe he wants the fire youkai to think he has the upper hand. Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru, still calmly resolving to his youki-sealing restraints. Kagome felt the wave of power that was binding her and Sesshoumaru, and she felt somewhat inadequate. The fire youkai must be employing quite a powerful miko, dark or not.

"Well, this is just great," Kagome grunted, and Sesshoumaru shot her another glare.

"No more talking," he told her, and his cold command made the imp laugh again.

"Oh, my master will like you, the inu Taiyoukai and his miko slave," he said, and Kagome spun around to him.

Adrenaline and anger shot through her, and she managed to reach out one of her free legs and kick the imp off his stool. "I am not his slave, you jerk!" she hollered at him. He blubbered and cried from the impact as he fell on his side, and when he composed himself, he waddled up to Kagome and gave her a slap. She met his eyes again with defiance, and she was tempted to spit on him, but she thought against it. He'd probably do something worse to her, and the bruise was already forming on her cheek.

She turned back to Sesshoumaru instead, instantly blaming him. "This is all your fault," she said, and when Sesshoumaru showed no emotion or guilt for what he had gotten her into, Kagome turned away from his stare with a "humph!" and decided to close her eyes.

After an awkward moment of heated silence, Kagome heard the imp chuckling to himself, as if his thoughts were amusing him. She rolled her eyes as he met her gaze again.

"Do you want to hear a true story, miko slave?" he asked her, and Kagome honestly didn't want to hear the imp's voice any longer, but she had to admit this bumpy ride of complete silence in a rickety cart was just as excruciating as the bruise on her cheek.

"I have a feeling you're going to tell it to us no matter what we say," Kagome shot at him.

"It is the story of my master's greatness," the imp said, and Kagome heard Sesshoumaru scoff at her left.

"Oh boy, this should be epic," Kagome said sarcastically. "Do please continue." Her voice was mocking, and the imp really didn't appreciate it, but he continued his tale anyway.

"The great fire youkai Asobibi is legendary, but his doings are quiet. He does not interfere with the wars of men or the sky dogs," the imp said, looking at Sesshoumaru pointedly. "He gains his power from simple collection. He waits until battles are lost and strongholds are destroyed, and then, he barters or sometimes takes the glorious possessions of defeated kings."

"So he's a grave robber, lovely," Kagome said.

"Silence! My master is no such thing! He is a collector of splendid things, of mystical objects. He fosters only special humans and youkai, and under his rule we live in riches and safety," the imp said, insulted by Kagome's banter.

She shook her head. "It still sounds like he's just some jerk who robs people and brainwashes his followers! How could he really be powerful? He sounds like he's never fought a battle in his life, which makes his notoriety more of a dishonor than something to be proud of," Kagome told him, earning another, harder slap.

"Bite your tongue, witch!" the imp said, and Kagome felt the rant was worth it. She'd do it all over again, and she was still upset that Sesshoumaru got her involved with someone like this, a youkai that collects special things and people. So what does he want with them? And does he really have Ah-Un's mate? Suddenly, Kagome didn't think she could trust anything Sesshoumaru said at this point.

"The miko is correct, toad," he said. "Your master is a coward, and I know him personally. I could tell you stories of all the shameful things your master has done to gain his reputation. He is a sniveling fool who surrounds himself with other sniveling fools."

"Yes, and you can say this because you are the great Sesshoumaru, Taiyoukai of the Western lands," seethed the imp. "How is your mother? And what about your bastard brother?" His anger seemed to subside, and Kagome felt a chill as she watched him, seeing the sick satisfaction on his face, as if he knew something more to all of this than he was telling them.

Sesshoumaru did not like the imp mentioning his family. "You lowly maggot, how dare you speak of them."

"Oh, how protective you are, even when you can do nothing," said the imp, and for the first time since Kagome woke up, she finally saw Sesshoumaru struggle with his bindings. This scared her even more because maybe he didn't have the grasp on their situation as Kagome hoped.

"Try all you like, Lord Sesshoumaru," said the imp, his formal address a mockery. "You know that my master only uses the best miko." He turned to Kagome. "And soon, he will gain another one. We thank you for your patronage in bringing her."

"Silence," he growled at him, but the imp continued taunting him.

"And thank you for yourself and…well, the bonus gift to my master," he chuckled wickedly. "To think, we have three of the warriors who defeated the great and terrible monster Naraku who terrorized the lands. Ah! What treasures to add to my master's collection!"

"Wait, what do you mean three?" Kagome asked, panicking. "There are only two of us here! Who else have you taken?" She felt a chill in her bones when he looked at her.

"Why it is your beloved, miko, come to protect you from the shadows. We've been watching all of you for a long time, and though you did not know he followed you, we did, and he was easier to capture than his most powerful brother," the imp said.

"The fool," Sesshoumaru said in an exasperated breath. Kagome was too shaken to turn to him and yell at him properly. She felt unshed tears in her eyes.

"No," she said, and suddenly she felt guilty for getting Inuyasha mixed up in this. She should have known. He would never have left her to go off with his brother by herself. Even after Naraku's defeat, he still didn't trust him, and though they have some mutual understanding, she supposed Inuyasha would never trust him, even until he died.

"Inuyasha," she spoke in an agonizing breath, and she wished her hands were free so she could bury her face in them.


	18. Quick Lullaby

AN: Officially off hiatus. More to come!

Absurd Distractions

Part Eighteen: Quick Lullaby

Kagome knew she couldn't cry and worry for Inuyasha forever. She had to think of something to get out of this situation and rescue him, even if Sesshoumaru silently kept his plans to himself - as expected, and only wanted to involve her in his schemes unless it suited him.

Sniffling slightly, she narrowed her eyes at the imp who seemed to enjoy making her cry. He leered at her with mangled brown teeth, and she had to suppress a shudder.

Upon closer inspection, she realized something about this particular imp youkai. While she was learning about all the youkai in her priestess training with Kaede, she remembered this kind specifically.

"A priestess' voice, no matter how terrible, can affect this imp in an advantageous way," Kaede had said.

_Of course_, she thought. Without hesitating, Kagome could only try her theory, and she did. She started slowly, humming a pop tune from her time, Utada Hikaru to be exact, and she watched closely as the imp's eyes widened and ears perked up. When she opened her mouth and the lyrics of the song poured from her lips, the imp's eyes became glazed over and soon, heavy.

Satisfied by the imp's quick snoring, Kagome continued to hum lightly to keep the spell going. She turned to Sesshoumaru, whom was intrigued (in which Kagome translated as mildly _impressed_) and she sung to him very melodiously without interference from the sleeping imp.

"_So what do you have planned against this demon collector boss_?"


End file.
